I know, right. There are some weird stuff in the world, man.
The moose dreamed of becoming a Lippizzaner. But they always turned him away at the auditions on account of his pedigree – or rather, the lack thereof.
For a brief time in 1986 there were rumours of a new company, the Lippimoosers.
Alas, that project never came off the ground.
Travel for days to take pictures of you and the wife and kids next to well-known landmarks. Try to fit in as many landmarks as you can into your itinerary.
By following these essential guidelines, your trip will be remembered for years to come. Eventually your memory will start to fade and you’ll remember your travels with fondness.
When in Verona, break out in spontaneous sonnet.
When in Rome, do the Roman Boogie.
If you are traveling with children, drag them to as many museums as you can fit into a day. Be sure to skip rapidly over interactive exhibits and make them listen to all the tracks on the audio guide. Better yet, make them read all the descriptions.
If you find you must travel (for work purposes, or to visit a distant relative who just had a baby and your wife insists on delivering the hand-knitted socks herself) there are certain, very important things to keep in mind.
Start complaining about how expensive travelling is as soon as possible. From airplane tickets to the price of coffee (“R50! For a coffee!”) there are many reasons to suddenly become stingy.